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England spinner Yardy reveals how maniacal depression came to rule his life

London, Thu, 12 Apr 2012 ANI

London, Apr 12(ANI): Michael Yardy has revealed that he pulled out from an England match due to depression, which took place six months before he quit the World Cup.

Yardy had earlier admitted depression had resulted in his early departure from the World Cup in March 2011, just days before the semi-final defeat in Sri Lanka.

But now Yardy has said the problem also forced him to withdraw from England's one-day international against Pakistan at the Rose Bowl in September 2010, The Sun reports.

"I'd learned to put on a brave face. But I woke up that morning in Southampton and couldn't carry on. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted to go home," Yardy wrote in the 2012 edition of cricket bible Wisden.

"I spoke to my wife Karin, who knew I had been struggling, and went to see Andy Flower, who was unbelievably supportive. It was a huge relief just to tell him. Deep down, I knew I was in a bad place. I was very tense and living on a very short fuse - both with myself and others," he added.

"I always had high expectations but things were getting out of hand. I could never please myself, was constantly striving for more and setting unrealistic goals, which just increased the pressure I was putting on myself because of the self-doubt," he said.

Yardy further revealed that he felt like a loser at times, and negative thoughts had once occupied his mind completely.

"I have always liked my own space but now the very act of being around other people became an effort. My mind was saying 'They don't like you anyway. Why would they? You're a loser'. Everyone has negative thoughts but I was letting mine rule my life," he said. (ANI)

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